Yesterday was spent deciding upon the details and necessity of today’s scary thing. This weekend, Brandon and I are taking 16 students on a retreat– the selfsame student’s that we’ll be taking to Asia this January– and I’m a bit freaked out. I’m not concerned about having a good time, team building, or any of the exercises and activities that we have planned.

(One of these I just have to share: we’re taking them to the grocery store, dropping them off in the parking lot with $40, and telling them that they have half an hour to plan, budget, and shop for a three-course meal for dinner, which they’ll then have to prepare. We just get to observe! Can’t wait to see the team dynamics…)

The stupidest thing has made me really nervous about this retreat: transportation. We’d intended to rent vans from our university, only to find that there are no vans available– mini or 12 passenger– and that we have to rely on cars. OK… except this means that we’re going to have to caravan with students who don’t necessarily know where they’re going and who we don’t know very well yet. I have never seen anything like this work successfully, nor have I ever been involved in something like this without a huge and significant amount of stress. They don’t know where they’re going! What if someone gets in an accident? They’re all going to call me! What if we get separated?!

Case in point: our rehearsal dinner. I wanted nothing to do with the planning of it (though I’m quite experienced at planning things), and consequently, a little thing like printing directions from our New Jersey suburb into Center City Philadelphia got dropped. Guests from out of town (Indiana! Minnesota! New York! Iowa!) had no idea where they were going. It was disastrous.

Brandon is worried about me, clearly. “Laura,” he said yesterday, “this concerns me. If you can’t trust them to get 20 minutes away without stressing out, how are you going to handle three international flights and a ferry? How are you going to handle having little to no contact with them once we’re on site?” Ah… checkmate.

I need to embrace today’s scary thing and move on… I’ll let you know how it goes.